The Joy of Selecting Your Bridesmaids
Have you ever attended a wedding and wondered why there had to be bridesmaids (and groomsmen)? It got my curiosity thinking a while back and I did a quick search on the traditions (and some superstitions) that involves the choosing of your entourage. It wasn’t mind blowing when I looked it up so I simply put it at the back of my head. But recently as I was shooting a wedding, I noticed that the bridesmaids were very helpful, always cheerful, and kept the bride happy from start to finish. And then I recalled the other weddings that I’ve shot wherein the brides were always relaxed, happy, or full of positive vibes;
most of them had a good set of bridesmaids around them.
Which makes me think, how does a bride choose her bridesmaids anyway?
The following ideas are a mishmash of what I’ve heard from friends, seen in the other blogs, and also my personal thoughts.
While this may be about bridesmaids, this applies to choosing groomsmen as well.
Who to choose?
First consideration when selecting your entourage is relationships and friendships. While that is a no-brainer, just what other requirements are there? So far, from what I’ve seen, the following personalities stand out in a good bridesmaid (or groomsman), and you might want to take these traits into consideration.
The Funny One
There will be times during the wedding day when everyone is tense or stressed, you need someone close to you who can inject a little
humor to the tension if the need arises. The photos will look fun and you’ll remember laughing your way to the church.
The Softy
I don’t mean that in a bad way, I mean someone who is the first to shed a tear in sappy movies and someone you can
count on to cry when you walk down the aisle. What would a wedding be if there is no one to shed a happy tear on cue?
The Ever Reliable
While most brides nowadays employ the services of a coordinator who will be the one in charge of most things during the wedding, there are instances where you’d need someone close to you to help out, “My ninong needs directions going to the church”; “My little niece is having a tantrum”; “I need to go to the restroom”.
What you’d like to hear in times like these is: “I’ll take care of it!”
Pro Tip: if you have someone that fits in all of these criteria, you might want to consider her as a maid of honor.
Next question is, how many to choose?
I don’t know if there’s a strict rule to follow here, I’ve seen brides who go with as much as they like or even with just one. Personally though, I think anything over 12 is a bit too much. An even number would look better in photos, although some cultures avoid certain numbers like 4, and for some, 8 is a lucky number.
Yes, 8 sounds nice, and that includes your maid of honor, double that to make a total of sixteen if you consider the same number of groomsmen,
imagine the size of your group picture!
If you have a friend who is getting married and you’ve been selected as part of the wedding entourage, there are things that are
expected from you on the wedding day too. While tradition states that the bridal entourage surround the
couple to fight off evil spirits or intruders, all you need to fight off during the wedding day are bad vibes. How?
Be ready to help out
A wedding day requires team effort. While we may have efficient coordinators by our side,
there will be certain tasks that require a friend or a family to handle.
Always watch out for the couple
Are the couple happy? Are they thirsty? Is the veil of the bride messy during the ceremony? how can it be fixed?
Know the roles
Certain wedding ceremonies have roles for the entourage like bringing in of offerings and putting on the veil and cord as wedding symbols.
Know your part and your cue, be there at the rehearsal or be keen on the coordinator’s prompt.
Be ready to pose
Bridal group photos and wedding entourage group photos are a staple in a set of wedding day photos. You are required to strike a pose. With our generation of selfies, I think we all know how to find our best angle. There will be situations where the photographer will as you to sit on the floor in you dress. The rule of thumb for us photographers is never to ask the subject to do something we are not willing to do ourselves.
But if you’re really iffy about it you can ask to exchange positions with someone more willing.
Be ready to have fun
Everyone invited to the wedding is there to celebrate with the couple. As part of the entourage you should be at the forefront of the merrymaking. Prepare to have a joyful attitude all day. Be there during the preps, dress up along with the bride, be excited for the first kiss and join in the petal throwing!
These are some of the instances where your energy is needed to make the day happy and memorable.
I wish to experience more weddings where I see everyone working together to make the day memorable for the couple. In this case, the bridesmaids are there to magnify the joy of the wedding day by surrounding her and taking care of her from the days leading to the wedding day, to the wedding day itself and beyond.
With the right selection, you’ll end up with a close knit group that you’ll remember for years to come. So choose wisely.
